Greetings traveller. I'm Adrian and this travel story documents my first trip to America, traveling with two friends, Alex and Dave. They knew each other pretty well, and I was just getting to know them both. It was originally published under the title of “Fake tales of New York City”, inspired by a song off the Arctic Monkeys debut album, which was popular at the time and was pretty much the soundtrack to our trip. I've since made the executive decision not to use puns in my blog article titles; hence the rename. This story originally lived on Facebook back in 2006 and was later added to my 2008 website. Lastly, you may notice that this article is written in a short note format. This is due to me taking notes each day during the trip and wanting to retain that style of writing. The text has been mildly edited for use on this blog. Enjoy.

Day One

Met Alex and Dave at 9 am in the airport pub. Bought myself a Guinness as this would probably be my last “real” pint for over a week. Flight was OK. Got the window seat, so had a good view, but the big man in front kept putting his seat back. I wondered if he knew how annoying he was.

My first view of America

Checked into the hotel. My room was bigger than Alex and Dave's, so I was happy. Got no sleep because the radiator was stuck on “sauna-mode” and kept making clanging noises all night.

Day Two

Started the day with a walk to the New York public library. Alex was annoyed that they didn't have any comics.

Next, we walked to Central Park. Alex saw the zoo and wanted to go. Me and Dave weren't so keen, as we could see most of the zoo by looking over the fence, but we went to stop Alex sulking. There was a polar bear that kept walking back and forth non-stop... it might as well have been robotic.

We continued walking through central park. Alex and Dave were looking for John Lennon's strawberry patch. We eventually found it, but there were no strawberries there.

Went to the top of the empire state building. Well actually only the 86th floor, because you had to pay extra for the 102nd floor. I don't think there's actually that much difference, except it's probably colder on the 102nd floor. The view from #86 was amazing anyway, and we could see very far in all directions. We stayed till the sun set so we got to see the city in both day and night.

New York City

Day Three

Went on a boat to Liberty Island. Found out the statue was put together from bits of metal. Wondered why it faced the direction it did.

Went to the "NY Comedy Club" in the evening. The woman who was hosting was not funny, but the other comedians all made us laugh. There was a two-drink minimum. I think drinking makes the comedians funnier. I wondered if just making the people who weren't laughing buy a drink would be better system. 

Hello again, modern day Adrian here! At this point in the story I can see that I wasn’t one for words back in 2006. Reading it back to myself now, after all these years, I realize that the story doesn't do the city justice. These events could almost be happening anywhere. However, after some more thought, maybe it's not such a bad thing. This is a very raw account of the parts of the trip that stood out to me at the time. It could be decremental to the story to dilute these tales down with talk of the architecture, the culture and feel of New York city. Maybe I knew what I was doing or maybe I got lucky, but on second thoughts, this is a fun little account of events between three young guys experiencing the big city for the first time. Let’s continue…

Day Four

We went to the natural history museum today. Alex said all the animals and dinosaur bones were fake, but Dave insisted the dinosaurs had been dug up.

Took a walk to Tom's Restaurant (as seen in Seinfeld). Dave doesn't find Seinfeld funny. I like the American diners. The milkshakes are infinitely better than back home. I don't like how little time they give you to choose from the menu. I had to keep making a split decision. 

The Seinfeld Diner

Day Five

Woke up at 6 am again! Why do the radiators make funny noises? Went to Alex and Dave's room for 10:30 am. They weren't ready, or even up. Came back later, but Alex had gone for a shower and Dave was watching the motorbike program again.

Today started with a trip to Coney Island. We took the underground for the first time. It wasn't as scary as everyone had said it would be. Walked over the Brooklyn Bridge and then took a taxi across Brooklyn. A misinterpretation in the taxi led us to believe that Alex didn't know what braille was.

I found a big stick on the beach. We drew lots of words in the sand. This turned out to be one of the highlights of the Coney Island trip.

Hey! remember it was winter, and all the rides were closed!

Coney Island

In the evening we went to the comedy club again. It took ages to find a taxi home. Unfortunately, this was the coldest day in the history of cold. The comedy was good. One of the comedians mentioned the noisy radiators. I wondered if he was staying in our hotel. 

Day Six

Today was a chance to go shopping and buy some of those cheap jeans, everyone bangs on about. I hate shopping, mainly because I can never find anything I like. I went to Macy's, initially to use the toilet. The toilet was on the 7th floor, which was annoying, but I ended up spending two and a half hours shopping. This is a new record for me. I later found out Macy's has 11 floors and is the biggest department store in the world.

In the evening we chilled out and played cards. We alternated between "Hearts" and a game called "Cheat". Alex and Dave took turns to lose as I won consistently. Dave did win once at cheat, but I think he cheated. 

Day Seven

Went to Tom's again for lunch. Not enough time to select off the menu, which might as well have been in hard back. All the food portions are bigger than in England. Alex ordered too much again.

Walked through central park, looking for the little golf course we saw on the map. We found it, but what looked like a golf course on the map turned out to be a baseball field. This was a disappointment, but we had at least enjoyed the walk.

Late night in Central Park

Had dinner at the ESPN bar. The myth about having televisions in the restrooms was true. Wondered why they call it a restroom? Perhaps you go there mid-meal to have a rest from the mountain of food. Not sure why a man who hands out paper towels expects to get paid. Out of all the chores in a typical day, getting a paper towel from the dispenser seems like one of the least taxing. But again, it's called the restroom, so maybe that's why.

Day Eight

Today is our last day in New York. We saved today for buying gifts for our friends and family. I decided not to buy mine any as all the gifts looked tacky. They'll thank me in the long run. I did buy myself another bottle of Mountain Dew though.

Had lunch in the ESPN bar again, as the toilets deserved another visit.

Got to the airport at 6 pm. The flight is at 9 pm and we get home at 9 am tomorrow. It's a 6-hour flight, but the time difference messes things about. We could tell we were one step closer to home, as we overheard a fat English guy walking out the bar saying. "Just going for a quick piss".

I'm in the bar now, with a pint, writing this, as Alex and Dave choose to sit with the other boring passengers in the waiting lounge. Alex has now joined me and we're playing "guess the Radiohead song" while waiting for the flight.

Guess the Radiohead song

So there we have it. My New York travel diary, documenting my first steps in America. Little did I know that 5 years later I'd be permanently moving there, albeit Texas. Its mind blowing how much happened in those five years to initiate a move to the U.S. Within that short period of time I'd visit Los Angeles, San Francisco and make seven trips to Dallas! (There will be further articles covering those stories). But this is where it all started. A very memorable trip to one of the largest cities in the world. New York felt a little like an American version of London. We went in February when it was at its coldest, but we spent most days walking the city which was enough to take the edge off. It was only that one night waiting for a Taxi when the cold and the wind got the better of me. I lived to tell the tail though, even if it was in short note format.