Fish and chips, Bangers and mash, The Tower of London and Crufts. These are all British institutions. Growing up in England, these items and others like them, were not particularly special, they were just part of life. At the time of writing, I’ve been living in America for eight years and with the possible exception of Crufts, I miss all of these items and more.

In 2011 I moved house. A mere 4,745 miles down the road. I won’t go into the details of the move in this article, but one of the side effects is that I no longer have access to some of my favourite things. A move like this can make you realize who you are, and what things in life are important to you. 

For example; no longer can I pop to the corner shop in my slippers when I run out of milk or crumpets. The concept of small convenience shop on every corner is not realized here in Texas. Also, crumpets are not sold here, and that made me realize; crumpets are important to me.

On the flip side, there is now a whole host of new experiences I can enjoy. I can plan a picnic in the summer without fear of being rained on. I have easy access to Tex-Mex food, as unlike convenience stores, there is a Tex-Mex restaurant on every corner. I can go to an amusement park in the summer without fear of being rained on.  

After a while, despite the positives of living in Texas, I started to miss all things British. I even started to miss being rained on. It’s a classic case of “you don’t appreciate what you have until it's gone.” But in my case, it was strangely mixed with, “you now miss the things you didn’t even like when you had them”. 

I found myself wanting to keep up to date with events that I had previously shown no interest in. For example; The Queen’s Speech, The Eurovision Song Contest and The Boat Race. Luckily, these three events are all televised, but what about some of the more tangible items? How was I going to replace them?

Fish & Chips

You can find Fish & Chips in America and there is a surprisingly high number of British themed pubs and restaurants around Texas. They do their best to offer a variety of English fare, from Bangers and Mash to Shepherd’s Pie to Fish Tacos. Wait… What?... Yes, that’s right, Fish Tacos. That famous British dish!? 

No, not exactly. See the thing is, Mexican food is so popular here in Texas it has even penetrated a British themed restaurant. It’s also worth pointing out that every single restaurant that offers a shepherd’s pie is actually offering a cottage pie. (A shepherd’s pie is made with lamb; a cottage pie is made with beef).

When it comes to the Fish & Chips, things are not much better, or should I say batter. No, I was right the first time. For some reason the fish is always in thin strips instead of a whole piece which reminds me more of chicken tenders. Sometimes it's battered but sometimes it's just in breadcrumbs. When it is battered, the batter can be rubbery. This is served with very thin, very salty French fries. Not a chunky wedge of potato in sight. Mushy peas are scarce. I inquired about them once, only to be asked, what are “mooshy peas?” (For some reason, Americans tend to pronounce the word with a double-o).

Of course, in America, “chips” are what we call “crisps” in England. Probably the worst interpretation of Fish & Chips I’ve come across, pictured here, comes with actual chips/crisps. I still don’t know if it is a joke or a mistake!?

Is this a joke?

To be fair, when you find Mexican food in England it’s a similar situation. The ingredients are all wrong, the presentation is not quite right and all the terminology is mixed up. My wife had a good laugh at Britain’s attempts at Mexican cuisine.

Getting back to the point, Fish & Chips when done correctly is brilliant! It’s one of the national dishes in Great Britain and is most commonly enjoyed as a take-a-way food. I have so many great memories of walking home from the chip shop through the rain with a warm bundle of food, all wrapped up in newspaper. It’s more than just a meal, it’s a way of life. 

This dish is traditionally consumed on a Friday. Various companies I’ve worked for in the past would serve Fish & Chips for lunch on Fridays in the canteen. In the little village where I grew up, there were no pubs or shops. But every Friday evening around 7:30, you heard the deep rumble of a diesel engine followed by 3 beeps of a horn; and you knew what that meant. The chip van was here!

Essentially a chip shop on wheels, it would drive around the English country side from village to village cooking and selling Fish & Chips. In our village, it just happened to park up outside our house, but it was so popular, by the time I’d put my shoes and coat on, half the village was already in line waiting for their supper!

The race to the chip van

So last year, when I heard there was a new Fish & Chip shop opening up here in Texas, close to where I live, I didn’t think much of it. It was only when I heard it was owned by a couple from Cornwall that my ears perked up. I had to go and check it out. 

On entering the restaurant there was a good vibe. The decor seemed quite authentic. It wasn’t over the top union jacks all over the place. There was a handful of authentic British dishes on the menu to choose from, but I knew what I had to do, I had to order Fish & Chips. 

Perfection at last

I was not disappointed. It was a truly authentic experience. Even down to the little wooden chip fork. The first bite brought back all the memories of walking home in the rain. I could not believe it. A genuine Fish & Chip shop on my door step. 

Snooker

The game of Snooker is not well known in America. In fact, when I mention it to people they say “What’s Snoker?” (For some reason, Americans tend to not pronounce the word with a double-o) 

The nearest game in America is Pool. The basics are the same, hitting balls around a table with a stick. But everything else is different. Snooker is played on a much larger table with smaller pockets. Snooker is more civilized, typically played in a club rather than a bar. Players dress up smart with waistcoats and bow ties. It’s a gentleman’s sport. 

No need to where a bow tie, I'm just practicing

After moving to Texas, I said goodbye to Snooker and resigned to just watching the world championship every spring, via the internet. I wasn’t really expecting to find anywhere to play Snooker in Texas, but as it happens, there are a reasonable number of establishments here with Snooker tables. Most seem to be in Houston and the surrounding area, but by some stroke of luck, I found one here in the Dallas area. In fact, it’s right here in Richardson where I live, amazingly less than a mile away from my house. To put this in context, the only Snooker table I can find within a 250-mile radius of my house is within walking distance.

Why are these two unrelated British institutions located so close to my house?

But my luck with the authentic experience didn’t go as well as the Fish & Chip shop. When I first visited the Pool hall, I couldn’t find the Snooker table. Of course I couldn’t, it was blue! 

If you're new to the sport, Snooker tables are supposed to be green. The table was also a little on the small side. Ten foot instead of twelve. The little crosses where the balls go had initially been drawn in the wrong place and crossed out. (Imagine crossing out a cross). The coloured balls are unnecessarily numbered. For some unknown reason, the pink ball was orange. The club also didn’t have any Snooker cues, only the larger, clumsier Pool cues.

Left: English Snooker, Right; American Snooker

I visit the Fish & Chip shop when I can and I’ve started playing Snooker every couple of weeks with some friends from work. The Snooker experience isn’t quite the same as I’m used to, but considering I moved 4,745 miles down the road, it's more than I could have hoped for.

You have to make the most of that you’ve got.